


I found home.

by WatsonsJumper221b



Category: Hanna (TV 2018)
Genre: Cutesy, Domestic Fluff, Everyone Needs A Hug, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Hot Chocolate, Hugs, Missing Scene, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Tickling, Touch-Starved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-02-26 20:51:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18724765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WatsonsJumper221b/pseuds/WatsonsJumper221b
Summary: Hanna doesn't know what it's like to be part of a family, but she wants to.When she stays the night at Dieter's house she gets a taste of what it feels like to belong.





	1. Chapter 1

She sees them and she feels jealous.

There's no other way to describe it. 

It's a relatively new emotion for her and she's not prepared for the acrid bitterness of it, the burning hole of longing and contempt that burns in her chest. 

The worst part is, she cares about Armin and Biju. She likes them. She knows she's being completely ridiculous and childish when she sees them playing with their father- so innocent and full of joy- and she feels a pang of hurt. 

So when she hears Armin cry out-

"Let Hanna join in." 

and Dieter enthusiastically replies

"Yeah Hanna come on, I could do with some help."

She doesn't join them, instead, she turns away. She misses the concerned look from Dieter as she drifts off into the kitchen but she hears their laughter, growing fainter the further away she becomes until it's muffled in her ears. 

She helps Sima prepare their dinner; rolling mince between her palms into perfect little balls. The work is soothing and repetitive and it helps to distract her from the unexpected intrusion of emotions. She Rolls meatballs, chops vegetables, feels gentle wisps of steam curl around her cheeks and cling in a fine sheen on her skin. She settles into the rhythm of work with Sima by her side, a comforting presence. They move together in comfortable silence and in the silence Hanna thinks. 

She thinks about her father and she thinks about Dieter, Armin, and Biju. How peaceful it must be to exist and work and play in a home like this with no fighting and no training. How nice it must be to be able to trust, to live in a world where you know you're safe and protected.

The laughter stops and the food is almost ready-she's so preoccupied in her thoughts that she doesn't notice. Not until she feels a warm hand on her shoulder and suddenly, as though emerging from water her senses return in a sudden rush of sounds and smells. 

She feels herself react before she can think, shrugging the hand from her shoulder and spinning round; hands raised, body ready for action and thrumming with adrenaline.  
She looks up to see a bemused Dieter standing in front of her.

"You alright?" 

She looks around the room. There Armin and Biju are sitting laughing at the table, Sima's plating up a steaming helping of spaghetti and meatballs at the kitchen counter and Deiter's standing in front of her with gentle concern written on his face. She feels herself relax, her hands lowering to her sides. 

"I'm fine," 

she says it quietly, accepting a plate of food from Sima and joining the boys at the kitchen table without another word. 

Dieter stands very still for a second and she can feel him watching her. She can feel his worry. For a moment she even wonders if he's incapable of movement until Sima approaches him with a heaping plate of dinner and he moves to sit at the table. 

"So, how was your day at school?" 

Dieter asks lightly, smiling as his son sets off on a tangent of excited speech.

Armin talks enough for all four of them combined and Hanna's grateful. She still doesn't really understand how to do small talk, she prefers to listen. 

She listens as Armin talks about his new friend and his B in science and how unfair it was that they had a surprise test last week.

She listens and imagines it's her at school instead- sitting on the grass and feeling the sunlight on her skin, going to a party and feeling the dull echoing throb of music move through her, even sitting in a classroom taking a test. She likes the simplicity of the idea. The domestic bliss of ordinary everyday life. Nothing very important but at the same time, it means everything.

They talk and eat and feel the sun set slowly. Hanna watches as the last of the weakening sunlight catches the angles of their faces and bathes them all in dusky amber light.

Armin stabs a meatball too fast and it rolls across the table. Hanna catches it and tosses it back to him with a small smile and he erupts into giggles. Dieter catches her eye and his smile makes her feel like she might belong somewhere for a fleeting moment. It's over far too quickly.

Hanna catches Dieter and Sima share a look from the corner of her eye- something unspoken said between them. they both stand in almost perfect unity- The first steps to a dance that has been burned into their muscle memory. Sima gathers up the plates and begins to load the dishwasher, nestling the plates in the metal trays with the deft agility of someone who's done it a thousand times before. Dieter stands behind the two boys and reaches out a hand to ruffle their hair. 

"Ok, you two, time for bed."

there's a loud exaggerated groan but they do as they're told. Biju pushes away from the table with all the loping grace of a young teenage boy, pausing for a second to lean into the one-armed hug Dieter slings around his shoulder. Armin goes slowly, stalling for time by tucking his chair into its proper place and straightening the table cloth, he watches them both from the corner of his eye. Dieter gives him an amused smile and leans down to hug his youngest son.

There's a lot of tenderness in the gesture and Armin sinks into his fathers embrace without hesitation. Hanna watches, unblinking, and feels a soft kind of sadness flicker and burn inside her. 

Dieter whispers something in his son's ear and slowly, Armin turns to her, a hesitant but wide smile stretches across his face.

"Goodnight, Hanna," 

he says softly. She feels a smile tug at the corner of her mouth. 

"Goodnight." 

He glances back at her before he leaves and she feels a rush of affection for the small boy. It's a soft emotion, something much more pleasant than the rigid prison of apathy. 

She looks away from the doorway to find Dieter watching her with a strange mixture of emotions shaping his features. His brow is furrowed and his eyes are sad but there's the beginnings of a smile turning up the corners of his lips. 

There's an unbroken silence where they watch each other. An ephemeral moment of fondness stretching between them like a thin silver cord. 

"I've set up your bed in the living room." 

she sees him linger in the doorway, watching her with concern. 

He speaks softly-

"you get some sleep, ok?" 

and then he's gone. She hears his footsteps down the hallway and up the stairs, presumably to Armin and Biju's room to say goodnight. Their voices and laughter follow soon after, sounding to her as though her head is underwater- muffled and abstracted through layers of brick and plaster.

For a moment she sits there waiting for something before she realizes everyone is gone and she's alone in the growing darkness. When she finally stands she stills in the dim orange glow of the kitchen, feeling torn. For a moment she hesitates, teeters on the edge of moving. She feels herself walking not to the made up couch in the living room but up the stairs- following the soothing murmur of Dieter's voice. 

She makes no sound as she climbs the steps, her body well trained in the art of silence, in no time she's standing in the alcove outside what she assumes is Armin's bedroom. She stands in shadows and listens to the soft voices speaking. She doesn't know quite why she's here, other than the fact she couldn't bear to go and sit in that silent room alone and think about her father. 

She hears Dieters voice- 

"What story shall we read tonight?" 

and the rustle of pages, the subdued, sleep-warmed voice of Armin speaks-

"This one." 

"This one again, are you sure?" 

Dieter says this with a smile in his voice and Armin's reply is too quiet to be heard. Hanna assumes it's a confirmation because Dieter begins his story. His voice is deep and steady, there's no sense of urgency-no need to rush. She's used to information being taught in a clipped and urgent voice, a voice that demands attention. It says listen to this and  
learn because one day your life might depend on it. 

Dieter's voice is nothing like that and she closes her eyes and lets it wash over her. A sliver of moonlight cuts into the darkness and comes to rest on her face, spilling over the curve of her cheek. pooling on her skin. She feels the gentle light of it resting on her eyelids and she lets herself relax into the steady rhythm of words. 

The story is a pleasant one, she's never heard it before. She gingerly rests her head on the bedroom wall, presses her ear to the cool plaster, and listens. She misses a word every now and then, but she gets the gist of the story. A man and woman want to buy gifts for each other but they're very poor. He sells his pocket watch to buy combs from her hair and she sells her hair to buy a chain for his watch.  
It's a sweet story and she feels herself smiling in the darkness. 

Her ear still pressed against the wall, she hears the peaceful silence in the room, the rustle of covers and the quiet murmurings of a sleepy Armin. She hears Dieters gentle footsteps and presses her back to the wall, sinking into the darkness. It's too late to move but she still hopes that Dieter will walk by without seeing her. 

She watches him stand in the doorway for a long moment, watching Armin sleeping with clear affection. He only shuts the door when it's clear he's sound asleep. The door is closed gingerly so it doesn't make a sound. 

Dieter turns around, his eyes following the thin beam of moonlight until his eyes rest on Hanna. There's a moment where he looks at the vague shape of her in the darkness and she sees the incomprehension on his face. The split-second change in his stance and the momentary spike of adrenalin. 

She reaches up and pulls down her hood, shifting forward slightly so her face is bathed in moonlight. Only then does he recognizes her. He sighs softly in relief, his face shifting from alarm to kind concern. 

"Hanna?"


	2. chapter 2

She reaches up and pulls down her hood, shifting forward slightly so her face is bathed in moonlight. Only then does he recognizes her. He sighs softly in relief, his face shifting from alarm to kind concern. 

"Hanna?" 

it's said barely above a whisper. 

"You ok?" 

Slowly, she looks up at him and their eyes meet. There, on the floor, shrouded in her overlarge clothing, she looks very young. Like a child. He feels a rush of protective instinct towards her, that same fondness he often feels for Armin and Biju. 

He realizes, as he looks at her- eyes open wide, frozen in place- that he has her trapped in the small alcove she's wedged herself in and he steps back to leave her room to stand. But still, she doesn't move. He holds out his hands, palms out, and waits as her eyes flicker from them to his face and back. 

Finally, she shifts and reaches up, grabbing hold of Dieters hands and trusting him to help pull her up. They're warm and calloused and almost completely enclose her own. As he pulls her to her feet she feels the subtlety of his strength in the ease of his movements. 

There's a moment of silence as both of them look at each other, their features thrown into sharp relief by the moonlight.

"You liked the story?" 

Hanna's nod is almost indiscernible, the beginnings of a smile curving her lips. 

"It's one of Armin's favorites." 

She can think of nothing to say and again feels Dieter studying her face in the darkness. There's something soft in his expression but it's otherwise impossible for her to guess what he feels. 

There's another long silence in which Dieter seems to struggle with some internal battle. His face cycles through a myriad of different emotions before he looks up at her with that gentle conflicted smile of his. She's feeling somewhat conflicted herself-she can't ignore how strongly she wants to be part of this soft life, where love is so easily given, where there is nothing to prove. 

Dieter puts a hand on her shoulder and speaks, she can just make out his words in the silence-

"Go on to bed, Hanna. I'll be there in a minute." 

she watches him turn and re-enter Armins bedroom. For a moment she simply stands there staring at the door. Then she begins to move, padding silently down the stairs. She feels the house. She hears the gentle humming sounds of it breathing. It's walls, on all sides of her, envelope her in warmth.

She stands in the darkness of the kitchen and closes her eyes and for the first time in her life, she doesn't feel hunted. 

In the living room everything is softened by the warm light from the lamp. She sits on the sofa, feeling her fingers wind into the soft thick blanket beneath her and waits for Dieter's return. 

While she waits she studies the room. 

It's neat but homely, and various medals and awards Armin and Biju have won are arranged in a line on the mantlepiece. There's a picture of all four of them on the end table close to her and she leans over to reach it.

It shows a trip to the beach. The picture was taken a few years earlier when Biju was still a child and Armin was just leaving toddlerhood. They grin at her, eyes squinted from the sun and faces smothered in sunscreen. Sima stands looking up at Dieter, who has Armin sat on his shoulder arms reaching out in joy.

She sits looking at the photo, her fingers tracing gently over each of them with a small smile on her face. Inside her, she feels loss.

After a long moment, she senses she's being watched. She looks over at the doorway- Dieter stands just outside of the room, a blanket tucked under his arm and a book in his hand. He comes over to her slowly and takes the picture from her with a tired smile, placing it delicately back in the place it was taken from. 

"What's that?" 

she asks, looking at the book in Dieter's hands. 

Gently, he hands it to her. Its cover is made of red leather and the words Grimms Fairy Tales are embossed on the font in fanciful gold letters. She traces them softly with the pad of her finger. When she looks up at Dieter their eyes meet once more. He looks at her with a strangely sad expression. 

"I thought I could read one to you"

at this, she feels a small smile twitch at the corners of her lips. One that Dieter returns.

She nods, then watches as he gathers the blanket, a corner in each hand, and drapes it around her shoulders. Hanna feels it come down around her slowly. Blanket, air, blanket, air. A second where she doesn't know the difference between the two. When the soft fabric settles around her-clinging to the dips and curves of her shoulders and enveloping her in warmth-she looks up at Dieter with a grin, childish exhilaration touching every corner of her at the simple action. He chuckles warmly as he turns and heads for the kitchen.

"Where are you going?"

She doesn't know why her voice sounds so small. Dieter pauses and turns to look at her. She's sitting a little stiffly, nestled in the blanket, with a hand clutching it protectively. He feels himself soften. 

"Just to the kitchen. I'll make us some hot chocolate, ok?" 

She nods and watches as he disappears around the corner to the kitchen. After a minute she hears the low rumble of the kettle and the clatter of mugs and spoons. Only when she knows she's not being watched does she grab a fistful of a blanket and bring it to her nose, burying her face in the soft wool.

She breathes in deep, settling into the comfort of the smell of fabric softener, spice, and that unique smell family homes seem to have when children are around. warm, clean and sweet. It feels like sitting in a sunbeam, all afternoon sun and filtered warmth. 

Hanna turns her attention to the book in her hand, smoothing a hand over the cover before she opens it. She lets the pages fall open, noticing as she flicks through which stories must be Armin and bijus favorites by the way the corners are folded down. 

The page opens on a story called Hansel and Gretal and she stops, her hand coming to rest on the illustration filling the page. It shows two small children dwarfed by a cluster of trees reaching up to the sky. The light filters through the canopy and throws dappled light onto the ground. She can almost feel the gentle breeze and the crunch of leaves under her feet. It looks so similar to her woods, to her home. 

Dieter comes back into the room with a tray and two cups. He sets them down on the little table next to the couch and glances at Hanna. She's staring intently at Hansel and Gretel lost in the forest, her expression has a sadness to it, a kind of nostalgia. He sits down next to her and she feels the cushion dip. She manages to tear her eyes from the picture as Dieter reaches out to gently take the book from her hands. 

"Shall I read it to you?" 

There's a pause as she glances up at him in the soft light.

"Yes please." 

Hanna says softly, reaching out to trace the title with her finger. Big looping letters scrawled in fancy lettering. She looks up at Dieter and their eyes meet. There's a long silence before he speaks.

"Did your father never read to you as a child?" 

She feels herself still, pausing with her hands on the page. Slowly, she shakes her head, twisting her fingers tightly into the blanket. Her eyes focus on a point on the page and when she speaks, it's as though she's speaking to the forest, not Dieter.

"Not really. There wasn't much time for stories." 

There's a long awkward pause before Hanna finally glances up to meet Dieters eyes and although he smiles, it's a little pained.

"Well, this one's a favorite of mine."

Dieter says, and he starts to read. 

His voice is soothing, slow and relaxed but with that same animated quality it had before. She glances up at him every now and then to watch his face, softened by the warm amber glow of the lamplight. 

He reads to her in the gentle patient tone of a parent and slowly she feels the tension in her shoulders slipping away. The weight of the blanket around her is a soothing presence, and against all instinct, she feels herself begin to relax. She leans closer to Dieter to look at the illustrations, the tip of her tongue poking out as she concentrates on the sweeping lines. She feels him reach his arm around her shoulders and draw her closer to him, so she's nestled into his side.

Hanna can feel the warmth of him, the steady firmness of his body pressed into hers. At first, she sits ramrod straight, trying not to let any part of her body touch his. Dieter doesn't look at her, doesn't move other than to turn the page, just continues reading to her in a soft voice with his arm around her. Cautiously, slowly at first, she relaxes in his hold. She feels herself sink into the embrace, a quiet sigh leaving her. 

Hanna settles herself with her head laid on Dieter's chest, carefully, but when she meets no resistance she sinks her weight into him. She can feel the heat radiate off of him, it's like pressing her face into the steam of a warm mug of tea. In her ear, she hears the steady thump of his heartbeat, it ticks like a metronome beat.

Dieter squeezes her arm reassuringly as he feels her relax into him and continues with his story. He does the voices of the characters just like he did for Armin; the high pitched squeak of a child, the deep booming voice of the woodcutter, the gruff feral voice of the wolf. 

Hanna feels herself giggling at the performance and she sees Dieter look down at her fondly from the corner of her eye. She can feel his laughter boom in his chest, a rumble of faraway thunder. In this warm fuzzy moment, she feels safe. 

She knows she can hear his voice, but it becomes distant and far away. It doesn't matter to her so much what he's saying, just as long as his voice keeps washing over her. The steady sound of his heartbeat in her ear lulls her to that strange space between sleep and waking. It feels like being in the back of a car, watching the lights pass the window, knowing you're free for a moment. Just waiting to arrive. 

She doesn't notice when Dieter's voice stops. He sees the subtle change in the fetal curve of her body, the slowing of her breathing and he carefully folds the page down at the corner and closes the book. It's about time they stop- for now, anyway- their hot chocolate will be getting cold. 

"Hey.Hanna?"

Dieter says with a gentle shake of Hanna's shoulder.

Through the misted fog of her half-consciousness, she hears dieter speak. Soft lighting, soft voice-She slowly comes back to sharp focused reality realizing she doesn't remember ever feeling this relaxed before. 

Blearily, she drags herself into a sitting position-her ragdoll limbs feel heavy and limp-and leans her weight into the warmth of Dieter's shoulder. She hears him chuckle good-naturedly. Feels him ruffle her hair. 

"What happened?" 

She says- rubbing her fist into her eyes, a sweet childish gesture. There's still something of a child in her movements, despite the training she's been put through.  
Dieter arches an eyebrow in response to her quizzical gaze. 

"To the story." she clarifies. 

Her round pale eyes are unblinking. Focused on him.

"You fell asleep."

Dieter says to her softly, handing her a mug of hot chocolate topped with a mound of cream that has slowly begun to melt. She wraps her hands around it cautiously, her eyes holding his for another second before she looks down, the ghost of a smile on her lips. 

"I didn't fall asleep. " 

She says with a slight edge to her voice, Dieter can't help but smile despite this.

"No?" 

Hanna can hear the smile in his voice. She watches him take a long deep sip of hot chocolate and copies him. It's sweet and hot- she feels its warmth spread right through her.   
"I could have taken you, old man. Even with my eyes closed." 

She grins at him- a rare gesture. He looks up from his drink, eyebrows raised. Stealthily, he gathers up a dollop of cream from his mug and smudges it on Hanna's nose. A high pitched squeak comes from Hanna's mouth which is open wide in surprise. Her eyes snap up to meet his, pale green and filled with mock indignation.

"Sorry, I didn't hear that. What did you say?" 

Finishing off the last remnants of his drink Dieter puts his cup on the table with a smirk at Hanna. She closes her mouth with a clack of teeth and slowly puts hers next to his. As she does, she glances at the cream still left in her cup and, determinedly, she gathers up a handful of the light sticky mess. The echo of a smile is still lingering around Dieter's mouth as Hanna leans back from the table and lunges forwards, smearing cream all over his face. Her fingers map out his rough warm skin and catch on the stubble lining his cheeks and chin. 

Hanna watches as Dieter reels back in shock before opening his eyes and blinking dazedly. He takes a second to wipe his face with his sleeve and there's a long moment where they both look at each other, their faces sticky, their features blurred by the soft light. 

Then, all at once Dieter lets out a bark of laughter and pounces on Hanna. 

There's a whooshing sound and suddenly she's falling back into the couch. She can hear his low infectious laughter and all at once he's tickling her. A sudden burst of laughter comes careening out of her. She can feel his fingers digging into the sensitive curve of her ribs.

"D-dieter. Stoop!" 

Hanna chuckles, her breath exploding out of her as Dieter continues his onslaught, his hands running up and down, fingers dancing up the ladder rungs of her ribs.  
"I thought you said you could take me?" 

Dieter says, his face split wide in a wicked grin. 

"T-that's not fair!"

Hanna splutters, squirming in an attempt to get away from the older man, although all she really seems to be doing is making things worse. She's laughing so hard it's begging to hurt.

"You ready to admit defeat?" 

Dieter raises his eyebrows, hands poised ready to continue his onslaught. 

"In your dreams." 

Hanna quips, gripping hold of dieter's wrists and pushing him away with a triumphant 

"Ha!"

Dieter smiles at her before slinging an arm around her shoulder to pull her into a clumsy hug. She rests her head on his shoulder and feels a wide smile break across her face.

"Draw?" 

she hears him say quietly. The muscles in his shoulder move under her chin as he talks. She pulls back and looks at his face and sees his amber eyes squinting happily at her.

"Ok. Draw." 

She says softly.

Their eyes meet once again, a long moment of comfortable silence in which DIeter studies Hanna. She looks happy. Happier than he's seen her and the remnants of laughter still linger around her large green eyes. He feels a rush of protective instinct, and cautiously, he reaches out and uses his sleeve to gently wipe away the cream on her nose and around her mouth.

She goes very still. Something about the gesture makes her feel small and lost.

"There."

Dieter says softly, watching as Hanna traces the skin around her mouth lightly, she almost looks dazed. 

Hanna feels a shiver wrack her frame and she looks up at Dieter. Something in her expression makes Dieters expression soften. She looks vulnerable in a way he's not seen and it breaks his heart. 

Slowly, as though not to scare her, he pulls the young girl into a warm hug. She rests her head on his chest and listens, once more, to the slow rhythmic beat of his heart. 

"Shall I finish reading to you?"

Dieter asks quietly. Her muffled mumble of assent vibrates against his chest. Her eyes are heavy-lidded and as he rests a hand on her forehead he feels her sleep warm skin.   
Dieter lets himself sit for a moment with the comforting weight of Hanna in his arms. He wants so badly to shelter her from the life of violence and uncertainty he knows she has to return to. For now, though, all he can do is finish his story.


End file.
